You guys, I have been ugly crying over here thinking about how fast my sweet boys are growing up. Last night, Elijah woke up right as I was going to bed. Most nights, this would frustrate me to no end. I mean, you couldn't have woken up 10 minutes ago when I wasn't all snug in my bed?? But for some reason, it didn't bother me last night. I gave him a little medicine for his teeth, took him in my arms and we just snuggled in his rocker for a good 15 minutes. He pretty quickly fell asleep in my arms, but I couldn't help but hold on to him for just a little bit longer. Yes, I was exhausted. But the emotion that was taking over me in this moment was gratefulness. I was so grateful for this sweet tender moment and then for some reason I started thinking what if this was the last time he snuggled in my arms like this? And I just started blubbering...I'm sure my sweet husband could hear me over the monitor, but I didn't care.
These are the moments that I am trying so desperately to hang on to, because I know that I am going to blink and the boys won't need me any more. They will be grown and independent and the last thing they will want to do when they are hurting is curl up in mommy's lap (although if they want to sit in my lap when they are older, I don't care how big they are, I will NEVER turn them away).
One of my favorite quotes, by the good ol' Dr. Seuss is, "sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." And so I am trying to always keep this at the forefront of my mind so that I don't miss anything. The last time they hold my hand crossing the street, or ask me for 10 more hugs and kisses before bed. The last time they want to sit in my lap and read a story or ask me to push them on the swing. I want to make sure I am present for every moment of their lives, so that when the moments turn into memories, there will be nothing missed.
And so, here I am, crying again thinking about all of these things that are sure to come. I apologize for getting all emotional, but I think that is just what happens when you become a mom.