As a parent to two pretty rambunctious, sometimes defiant and absolutely wonderful little boys, it is not always smooth sailing. I don't always say the right thing and I definitely do not always keep my cool. I am working on this and God is always finding new ways to teach me patience (sometimes I would be okay if He would give me a break, but I know it is for the best). That being said, as parents our words are so valuable. What we say and how we say it can shape who our children are, not only for today, but for who they become in the future.

If you are like me and have strong willed children, it is so hard to know the line between discipline and grace. We need to be strong, and not let our children walk all over us, but we also need to remember that our words are so powerful and if we are not careful with them they can break our children's spirit. I have to remind myself daily, when I am in the midst of a toddler meltdown, that he is little and I cannot control his behavior, but I can control my own. I am the parent, I should have a grasp on this whole keeping my cool thing, right?

"A child listens intently, not only to what you say to him, but also to what you say about him. Indirect comments can have a great influence on how your child sees them self."** This is a good reminder to myself to not talk about my children when I am in their presence, unless it is positive. Also, something my husband and I have talked about a lot is to be aware of how we label our children. Big or little, when we label our children, I think they become that label. If I say my child is difficult, he will probably become even more difficult, because I will see everything he does as an act of defiance. But if instead, I say my son is strong, it will help me as a parent to act with more kindness and compassion and grace towards his poor behavior choices.

Being strong willed is not a bad characteristic by any means. in fact I know that having such a strong sense of self will probably make my son very successful in life and serve him very well as an adult. In the meantime, I just have to be stronger to be able to support such a soul (easier said than done). I have to build him up in all the right places, so not to break that beautiful spirit that God gave him. I want him to continue to be strong, but I also want him to understand the importance of being loving and obedient. I want to raise him to make good choices, not for fear of getting in trouble, but for the mere fact of doing what is right.

So to all of you raising little or big kids out there, if we can let our words increasingly reflect the words of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they too will do the same. We are the greatest examples in their little lives and God has given this task to us. As parents, God has entrusted these little souls to us, and I don't know about you, but that is an intimidating task sometimes. I want to make sure I am always checking myself and making sure I am building my kids up with my words, never breaking them down, no matter how mad or frustrated I am. However, I know that I am no where near perfect and it is guaranteed I am going to mess up sometimes (as will every other parent on the planet). But, you know what, that is okay. God did not tell us we needed to be perfect, but to lean on the One who is.

** Quote from Bible Study Fellowship home training lesson